Welcome to "Tuesday Mornings," a weekly source of encouragement for Christians everywhere.

 

Affirmation is universally believed to be a basic human need. Psychologist Abraham Maslow ranked it near the top of his hierarchy of human needs. Some people don't enjoy enough affirmation to satisfy, so they manufacture it. Three-time world heavyweight champion Muhammad Ali is remembered for pumping up his self-image periodically by announcing that he was "The Greatest!" He once said, "I figured that if I said it enough, I would convince the world that I really was the greatest." The world was not persuaded by his rhetoric, but it was convinced by his boxing skills. All that talk about being "The Greatest" was unnecessary and wasted effort. The numbers told the story. If you want some modern-day examples of self-manufactured affirmation, check out a few of America's radio and television talk-show celebrities. They seem to have mastered the technique.

 

Affirmation can be either given or received. Or both. Jesus set a wonderful example for his followers by building self-esteem in them. He didn't sugar-coat things; he told the truth. But he recognized when affirmation was needed, and when it was not.

 

You have figured it out by now. The topic for this week's "Tuesday Morning" is "Affirmed." Continue reading below whenever you are ready. Receive God's affirmation. Then spend the week affirming others. Start with your own family. You will not be sorry.

 

Tom Barnard

A Senior Affirmer who is still learning

 

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Affirmed

Tom Barnard

 

ometime ago a friend of mine introduced me to a group as “America’s Minister of Encouragement.” What a nice thing to say, even though it was more an exaggeration than a fact. But I appreciated hearing it. Why was that? Because we all are human beings, and we like to hear nice things being said about ourselves—even if some of those things are not completely true. We all want to feel that we are important to someone else. And when we do, we find it easier to feel good about ourselves.

 

Affirmation is a building-block of self-esteem. Affirmation works both ways—giving and receiving. But strong self-esteem always begins at the receiving end, not the giving end. Infants and young children, especially, need to be affirmed—sincerely and often. The absence of affirmation, coupled with constant criticism by their siblings, parents, and others in the family will lead to dysfunction. The same thing applies to youth and adults, but a deficiency in affirmation at the earliest levels of growth are more permanent than a deficiency that occurs later in life.

 

Psychologist Abraham Maslow is credited for identifying the term “Self-Actualization” as the top human need in Maslow’s hierarchy of basic human needs. Actually, the term was coined by Kurt Goldstein, one of Maslow’s mentors and a colleague at Brandeis. But Maslow was the one who built it into a basic understanding of the human personality. Maslow was a humanist, and he occasionally used deterministic arguments as the bases for his theories. He said, “A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be at peace with himself. What a man can be, he must be … It refers to man’s desire for fulfillment, namely the tendency for him to become actually what he is potentially; to become everything that one is capable of becoming.”

 

Directly below “Self-Actualization” in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is “Self-esteem,” which is listed above “Social Acceptance, Security, and Survival.” Self-esteem is built when a person achieves things and when respect is shown and cultivated. And again, self-esteem grows as affirmation is received.

 

Jesus was a master at affirming others. He looked at those rag-tag followers—none of whom was intellectually great—and affirmed them by saying, “You are the light of the world.” Not “a reflection of my light;” not “on your very best day;” not “you are second or third below Moses;” not “clones of Abraham;” but instead, “You (and you alone) are the light of the world!” And if that weren’t enough, he added, “A city on a hill, shining!” Was he talking about shy Andrew or skeptical Thomas? Yes, he was. He called his disciples, “my friends.” How would you feel if Jesus whispered that in your spiritual ear? He looked directly into the face of the woman caught in an act of adultery (John 8) and said to her, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them stay to condemn you?” When she replied, “No, Lord,” he said, “Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.”

 

My favorite affirmation story is recorded in Luke 7. A Pharisee invited Jesus to dinner, and he accepted the offer. During dinner, a woman known for her sinful life in the town showed up without an invitation. She brought with her an alabaster jar of expensive perfume. While the guests were eating, she positioned herself at the feet of Jesus, weeping, and began washing his feet and drying them with her hair. And there was more. As she wiped his feet, she kissed them and poured perfume on them. Simon, the Pharisee host, was more than annoyed. But Jesus said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, and she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—for she loved much.” How’s that for affirmation?

 

Are there people in your life who are under-affirmed? Are there some that no one seems to appreciate? You can change all of that, by following the example of the Affirmer and lifting their spirits. Begin now.