Welcome to "Tuesday Morning." Reading this weekly epistle may not cure anything, but regular reading will make you feel better about yourself. Money-back guarantees don't apply.

 

In preparation for this week's epistle I decided to do a little reading about worry. I ran across an eye-catching, five-question survey that was supposed to answer the question, "Do you worry too much?" I followed all of the instructions, and when I hit the link to discover whether or not I was a worry wart, I realized that what the survey actually promoted was a free horoscope. I wonder what Charlie Brown would have done if he had been in my place. I deleted it.

 

Actually, worry leads to stress and other undesirable conditions. And too much stress can negatively affect your health. Someone has defined stress in this way: "Stress is when you face an internal demand that exceeds the available resources to effectively meet the demand." There are a number of conditions that are closely related to stress. Any or all of these can hurt you. Are you ready? Which of the following apply to you? (This is not a test)

 

Anxiety...Worry...Exhaustion...Frustration...Confusion...Depression...Overwork...

Despair

 

If none of these describe your physical, emotional, or mental health, congratulate yourself and take the day off. If, however, your eye focuses on one or more of these, open the attachment and read some practical suggestions that may be helpful to you. The topic of this week's "Tuesday Morning" piece is "Unrealistic Expectations." Continue reading whenever you are ready. And if you want to be reminded about what Jesus said about worry, turn to Matthew 6:34. I personally like the New Living Translation for this verse.

 

Blessings on you.

 

Tom Barnard

A Recovering Worrier

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Unrealistic Expectations

Tom Barnard

 

can’t remember the make or model of the car. It was nondescript. But the bumper sticker on the back of the car was anything but nondescript. The words got me to laughing so hard I nearly caused an accident. Here was the message printed on the bumper sticker:

 

HUMPTY DUMPTY WAS PUSHED

 

Can you relate to that? Have you ever wished for the end of deadlines? Have you ever felt like you had just about reached the point where you could begin to enjoy the view from the wall where you have been sitting, only to be pushed to the ground below? Has anyone in a position of trust publicly challenged your leadership immediately following (or prior to) a board meeting? It’s one thing to suffer a “fall” in popularity. It’s something else to be pushed over the edge by something—or someone.

 

Some years ago I conducted an unscientific survey among a group of professional ministers. The subject of the survey was stress. To the question, “What do you feel are the major factors which lead to stress in the ministry,” the most frequently listed response was “Unrealistic Expectations.” It was far and away the leading cause of stress for those who responded to the survey. Other factors contributed to pressure, but this was one that seemed to apply to everyone and was beyond the control of the minister.

 

Dr. Archibald Hart, Fuller Seminary’s leading voice in identifying and healing “people helpers,” says this:

 

“Pastors tend to get overly involved emotionally. They tend to overextend themselves

and then feel overwhelmed by the emotional demands imposed by others.”

 

The state of feeling overwhelmed by emotional demands imposed by others is called stress. Hans Selye, identified by Hart as “the father of stress research,” has defined stress as the “nonspecific response of the body to any demand.” He acknowledges that stress can be good (“eustress”) and bad (“distress”). Both make demands on certain parts of the body and tend to separate a person from normal resting equilibrium. Hart says, “Too much of either type can work havoc in your body.” Perhaps that is why experts define distress as “hurry sickness.”

 

How can stress be reduced? Christian psychologist David G. Congo suggests the following steps:

 

·        Gain a clear understanding of your strengths and weaknesses. Read widely and seek counseling help if necessary.

·        Surround yourself with a team of people who can assist you and carry the baton. You can’t do everything by yourself. Read Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 and refer to it frequently. Memorize and practice it.

·        Gain a clear sense of your purpose and priorities. Plan the direction you feel God is leading. You do this through strategic planning in your work assignment. Apply it to your personal life as well.

·        Be assertive in resolving interpersonal conflicts and differences. Take the lead in this. Don’t wait for someone else to take the initiative in healing a broken or damaged relationship.

·        Take time to relax and schedule recreational activities. Replace tiredness with renewed energy. If golf is not your thing, discover what relaxes you and schedule those activities regularly.

·        Structure changes in your environment to relieve the stress. Take action or adjust. If this does not resolve your situation, relocate. As someone said, “Either fight or take flight.” One is not necessarily better than the other.

·        Cultivate a relationship with other professional people in your field. Trust is more important here than counseling competency. Everyone needs a friend “who sticks closer than a brother” (Pro. 18:24).

·        Trust God to do for you what you may not be able to do for yourself alone.

 

Remember what St. Paul said: “God, who calls you, is faithful; he will do this.” (1 Thess. 5:24 NLT).