Beyond Normal Limits

Tom Barnard

inda Noble Topf is a gifted writer and artist who is better known for her writings of encouragement and inspiration than for her paintings. In her book, You Are Not Your Illness: Seven Principles for Meeting the Challenge, she wrote about a disabling illness she had suffered—a tremor that developed in her left hand that prevented her from writing, typing, and painting with oils. The diagnosis was Multiple Sclerosis. The year was 1982.

Linda said that at the time she was “on top of the world.” Recently married, she was the president and creative director of her own award-winning graphic design and marketing company, Noble Design Associates. When the diagnosis was announced, she thought her life was over. But it wasn’t.

Over time, Linda discovered how to address a handicap that probably would have devastated a less-determined individual. Here is how she has adjusted to not being able to paint with oils:

            I am learning to paint with watercolors, no longer trying to prevent my hand from

            trembling, but using the trembling to create rhythmic strokes of color and movement that somehow depict life the way it really is.

What a way to positively describe a negative situation: “using the trembling to create rhythmic strokes of color and movement.” She went well beyond normal limits to address life’s cruel realities.

In her struggle to overcome her personal handicap, Linda was inspired by other artists who overcame crippling illnesses. She read about Christy Brown, an Irish writer and artist with cerebral palsy who wrote and painted with his left foot—the only part of his body he could control. She also read about Auguste Renoir—one of the world’s great painters—who dealt with crippling arthritis by strapping artist’s brushes to his hands and painting with long, fluid strokes—resulting in some of his most famous works.

In her search for role models, she also discovered Henri Matisse who, while confined to a bed during the latter part of his life—and unable to work with paints any longer—learned how to create huge, stunning compositions from colored pieces of paper cut out with scissors.

Five months ago I underwent surgery to repair torn tendons in my right rotator cuff and a torn bicep muscle. The surgery lasted about an hour-and-a-half. The surgeon told me that full recovery from the surgery would take a year. “A year?” I questioned earnestly. I was sure he was wrong. I immediately sought the counsel of friends who had the same surgery. They were not at all encouraging. They agreed with the surgeon. Twelve months? Impossible! Do you have any idea how many hours there are in a year? Do the math. Eight thousand and change!

For two months I was not allowed to drive. That was hard. But looking back now, the hardest thing was the loss of independence. I expected pain…and physical therapy…and sleeping in a recliner…

and needing help to do the basic things I do every day…and pain meds…and a cane to help keep my balance when walking. But asking for help from my wife and friends to do the simplest tasks was hard. Now that most of my strength has returned to my shoulder, independence has returned.

As difficult as this experience has been for me, it is nothing compared to the losses suffered by the artists listed above. Yet Linda Topf and others struck down by serious illnesses found ways to work around their handicap. Mark Twain once said, “Courage is mastery of fear, not absence of fear.” Fear can be disabling. God’s plan for us includes living above fear. David said in Psalm 56, “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid.”